My Replacement for the Pelosi Bill

Now that Pelosi's monstrosity is making the rounds, let me suggest a much shorter and succinct bill that accomplishes largely the same thing:

H.R. 3962a

1) We are free to seize any money earned by citizens of the U.S. for any reason we see fit. Once this method of raising revenue has been exhausted we are free to borrow money from clueless foreigners until they refuse to send any more at which point we may print money in the amount required.

2) We can force employers to adopt any insurance standards we demand, covering any condition or elective procedure demanded by any important consituency and if they refuse we may fine them until they comply or go out of business at which point we may choose to add them to the growing list of government run business on our way to a full fascist state bail them out if we deem the votes of their employees or creditors important enough to our future elections.

3) If any citizen becomes ill we may pay for any needed treatments if we deem the condition worth treating based on the cow's remaining years of service for milking citizen's age and estimated present value of future tax payments from the citizen or the citizen's propensity to vote.

a) the second condition may be changed based on our ability to imbed ACORN more deeply into the voting process.

b) No guarantee of swift or state-of-the-art treatment is implied by this bill.

Citizens who still have any money left after the clauses in paragraph (1) are

implemented may spend their own money to get actual quality care. We reserve the right to impose Canadian-style restrictions on this option as well.

I think this about covers the intent of the Pelosi bill and does it in few enough words so that every citizen may carry a copy on a note card.