Sex...

Brothel isn't clear on what women actually want
By STEPHEN LAUTENS
I just read that the first legal male prostitute in the U.S. has quit his job.
It’s true, after two months with only 10 paying customers, Markus, a 25-year-old Alabama native working in a small Nevada brothel, has called it a day.
The Shady Lady Ranch even had to get state and county approval before they could hire a male sex worker to “entertain” female customers, only to discover there just aren’t enough women out there prepared to pay for sex.
It seems to me they didn’t do their market research.
I could have told them that a business model based on women paying for sex was doomed to failure.
Frankly, if you’re a man, it’s hard to even give it away for free.
Believe me, I’ve tried.
In spite of the failure, the Nevada brothel is trying again.
They’ve hired a new man to again offer sex to women, but I wouldn’t hold out much hope of that working either.
The problem is that sex isn’t what a woman wants from a man.
If they want to make any money, they have to start giving women what they really want.
If I ran a ranch offering titillating services to women, here’s what would be on the menu:
For $20, a woman could stand in a tasteful recreation of a kitchen and watch as a man refills the ice cube tray.
He’ll put on a titillating show by looking into the freezer, using the last cubes in the tray and then exclaiming in a sultry voice: “Oh my. Look at that. We’re out of ice cubes. Maybe I’ll just take the empty tray over to the sink and refill it without being asked.”
For 25 bucks, he’ll notice when the milk carton only has a dribble left in it and not only finish it off, but also get a new one.
For 30 bucks, a woman could watch a man slowly remove his underwear to rhythmic music, and then actually place them in the laundry hamper.
For 50 bucks, your gigolo would notice that the kitchen garbage is full, and instead of trying to cramp one more apple core in it, would not only take the garbage out to the bin, but would actually replace the plastic liner in the kitchen.
For $75, a man for hire could sit in a comfortable living room and hand over the TV remote.
The he would whisper: “There you go honey. I know the playoffs are on, but I’d rather sit next to you and watch five hours of remodeling, house-hunting, weight-loss and cake-decorating shows.”
During the shows, he’d comment enthusiastically on how much better someone’s kitchen looks with granite counter tops and a new island.
For 100 bucks, your choice of sultry young gentlemen will sit at the kitchen table with you and go over up to 100 paint and fabric swatches to redecorate the bathroom.
Not only will he do it without complaint, but he’ll also pay close attention when discussing the differences between eggshell, ecru, and off-white, and whether a touch of pink will give the room more warmth.
The big ticket item would be the $200 service, where a man-for-hire could enthusiastically discuss with a woman the idea of family coming over for a holiday dinner.
You see, I know what a women really wants.