School goes full Monty Python on gender-neutral pronouns. To appease leaders, now you must say ‘Ne.’
Mar 2, 2018 4:38 pm
It isn’t clear if the powers that be at Kennesaw State University are big Monty Python fans, but it appears the Georgia college’s LBGTQ programmers — in an apparent quest to spread the message of gender-neutral pronoun usage — have invoked a famous sketch by the legendary English comedy troupe.
Assuming you’re keeping up with the growing list of preferred gender-neutral pronouns(e.g., “Hir” and “Ze” and “Xe” and “Sie” instead of the outdated “He” and “She”), then you’ll be glad to know that Kennesaw State’s LBGTQ Student Programs is sporting a pamphlet with some additional gender-neutral pronouns folks should use.
One of them is none other than “Ne.”
And you know what happens to those forced to hear that “sacred word” in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” right? Excruciating pain nearing death.
King Arthur asks, ‘What is it that you want?’
You might recall that King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table are ordered to “appease” the Knights Who Say “Ne” — OK, the official spelling is “Ni,” but you get the idea — by obtaining a shrubbery. And one that looks nice. And not too expensive.
But even after Arthur & Co. return with a suitable shrubbery, the rulers of the woods have now become the Knights Who Say “Ecky Ecky Ecky Ecky Pikang Zoop Boing …” and want another shrubbery to be placed next to first shrubbery “only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.”
Plus, they order Arthur’s squad to “cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with … a herring!”
What do the creators of the pronoun pamphlet want?
The creators of the college’s pronoun pamphlet are after a few things themselves.
While there’s no reference to Pythonesque sacred words like “Peng” and “Neee-wom,” the pamphlet does offer examples of how the gender-neutral pronoun “Ne” can be used “respectfully” in everyday conversations as a subject, object, possessive determiner pronoun, possessive pronoun and reflexive pronoun. So you can jump right in with phrases like, “Ne laughed” or “That is nirs” or “Ne liked nemself.”
The pamphlet also instructs readers to ask others what pronouns they prefer since at any point in time they “may change their pronouns without changing their name, appearance, or gender identity.”
What if you fail to use someone’s correct pronoun?
If you fail to use “Ne” or other preferred gender-neutral pronouns, the pamphlet says “most people appreciate a quick apology and correction at the time of the mistake.”
It even offers an example of how you might phrase your mea culpa: “Her books are — I’m sorry, hir books are over there.”
“By correcting yourself, you’re modeling respectful pronoun use for others in the conversation,” the pamphlet continues. “If you only realize the mistake later, a brief apology can help. Try: ‘I’m sorry I used the wrong pronoun earlier. I’ll be more careful next time.'”
(For the record, King Arthur corrected himself by saying “the Knights Who ‘Til Recently Said ‘Ne,'” so there’s that.)
Should you correct others’ pronoun usage?
The pamphlet also offers tips for readers who may want to straighten out guilty parties in the gender-neutral pronoun struggle.
“Some people may not want a lot of public attention to their pronouns, while others will appreciate you standing up for them,” the pamphlet states. “If someone uses the wrong pronoun for a person who isn’t present, try a brief correction: ‘I think Sam uses she and her pronouns. And yes, I’m going to her house later too!”
What else does the college have to say about “Ne” and other terms?
Campus Reform said it didn’t hear back from Kennesaw State media officer Tammy Demel in time for publication, although she acknowledged the outlet’s request for comment on the pamphlet.
This writer’s perspective
The evil Knights’ outrageous demands and the endless hoops they make Arthur’s crew jump through is strikingly symbolic of the proponents of gender-neutral pronouns and their moves to alter — and monitor — speech on college campuses.
No, the Knights don’t demand that Arthur use the word “Ne” — or “Ni” to be hand-wringingly precise — but the “sacred word” is still used as a threat. And hearing it causes actual pain. The hilarity of that ridiculous plot element speaks to the apparent pain others feel when incorrect pronouns are used in their presence.
The Python fellows take the inane prospect further by having King Arthur & Co. use the word “Ne” upon others to get what they want. And as with actual weapons, they discover that saying “Ne” gets them places.
To take things to an even greater extreme, King Arthur corrects Sir Bedivere on the proper pronunciation of the word, as the vocally challenged knight keeps saying “Nu” rather than “Ne.” Heaven forbid any of us get our signals crossed like that.
It’s beyond dispute that “correct” and “approved” language already is being used as a weapon and a threat — and even those who accidentally fail to comply are getting punished. Now ask yourself to what extent in the years to come will such incorrect speech result in retribution, all because a growing number of “woke” individuals have decided what can be uttered and what can’t be uttered?
While you ponder that disturbing question, here’s a classic look at the dangers of saying “Ne” to unsuspecting elderly women, shrubbers and Arthurian knights. Hopefully you, too, can pass through the dusky woods … alive:
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