At one point in our history people like Sanders, Newsom and Clyburn would have been laughed out of politics
How to Get a Birth Certificate for Dummies: A Guide for Democrats Who Oppose Secure Elections
The Democratic Party’s latest talking point against the SAVE Act is almost performance art in its absurdity.
We are now expected to believe that birth certificates are mystical documents, whispered about in legend but never actually seen. They are simply too elusive for modern Americans to locate and too burdensome for a civilized society to require.
Democratic California Gov. Gavin Newsom and socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders, an independent from Vermont, have both recently claimed they do not know where their vital records are, as though those documents vanished into the same void as missing socks.
We are now expected to believe that birth certificates are mystical documents, whispered about in legend but never actually seen. They are simply too elusive for modern Americans to locate and too burdensome for a civilized society to require.
Democratic California Gov. Gavin Newsom and socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders, an independent from Vermont, have both recently claimed they do not know where their vital records are, as though those documents vanished into the same void as missing socks.
“I don’t have my birth certificate,” Sanders said last week. “God knows how I get it.”
If my memory serves me, both men have recently boarded flights to Europe, which requires a passport.
And passports, inconveniently, require proof of citizenship.
Proof of citizenship, in this country, generally begins with a birth certificate.
But let us humor the absurdity of the claims.
Rep. James Clyburn, a South Carolina Democrat, appeared to nod along with the notion that being asked to use such a document to prove identity when voting is some kind of civil rights gauntlet, a bureaucratic obstacle so cruel it must be rooted in malice.
But let’s stop pretending any of this is complicated.
Question: You know who genuinely struggles to produce an American birth certificate?
Answer: People who were not born in America.
Everyone else, minus the rare exceptions, has a health department, a state office of vital records, and a phone number that works during business hours.
On Monday morning, armed with nothing more than caffeine and mild curiosity, I called the relevant offices in South Carolina, California, and New York, where Sanders was born, just to confirm what I suspected.
The process of obtaining the unicorn document known as a birth certificate is simple and inexpensive. It is almost too simple.
It was explained to me by polite public servants who did not once scream at me about suppressing minority voters.
In most cases, you can request a certified copy online or by phone, pay a modest fee, and receive your document within a couple of weeks, often for less than $100, without ever leaving your couch.
If you are feeling impatient, there are expedited options that cost a little more and really move the process along.
There are even vendors that work directly with state and local governments to streamline requests, including U.S. Vital Records, which I have personally used, and another legitimate service called VitalChek.
With a few clicks, your name, and the basic details of your own birth, you are well on your way to obtaining the supposedly mythical parchment.
And if online forms terrify you, there are actual human beings in government offices who will help you in person, post haste, even if it requires the unimaginable sacrifice of walking into a building.
But of course, none of this nonsense is about birth certificates.
The goal is to frame election integrity as inherently racist, to suggest that asking voters to prove they are qualified voters is a hurdle so insurmountable that only bad faith could explain it.
The issue is that the narrative collapses under the weight of a single phone call.
People of all ethnicities can obtain birth certificates.
I fought the civil rights battle Monday morning and won in about half an hour, and I assure you I am not a genius. I am merely a man with a telephone, a computer, and an internet connection.
The latter two of those are available at public libraries.
If someone in the position I put myself in is unwilling or unable to complete the basic tasks of picking up a phone or filling in web boxes, then our standards for elections run much lower than proof of citizenship.
Our votes are being diluted by morons and the people who empower them, which I suspect is the case.
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