Friday, July 10, 2009

Obama On the Road

Ace of Spades has published a template for all of Obama's foreign speeches:

Greetings great and mighty culture, I am the Obama leader of New America. I am a cultured, urbane, black man with a Muslim name and I carry no baggage.

Your culture is great and wonderful, your poets brilliant, I will now quote one I have never read. Your food wonderful, I will now mention a dish I have never eaten.

Our countries have had issues in the past and they were all the fault of the old America, run by old white men.

Your country has done no wrong and any history of atrocities or rapaciousness or repression was just a reaction to Western meddling.

I apologize on behalf of the old white men who wronged you.

New America will not judge you, we will not pretend our free culture is better than your backward, tyranny.

We just want you to like me us.

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