The goal: balkanization of America

HURT: We’re from the government and we’re here to learn everything about you

Rage over the waste and injustice of agents sent by the federal government to bang on doors of law-abiding citizens to ask probing, creepy questions is normally something that bubbles up only every ten years. But, the federal government being the cancerous leviathan that it has become, this outrage is now an annual occurence.

The first census in 1790 asked a bare minimum of questions essential for establishing congressional districts of equal populations. Despite the abhorrent practice of slavery at the time — and the counting of blacks for purposes of their fractional apportionment — the whole endeavor was aimed at fairness.

In the 223 years since, the census has spawned an entire federal bureaucracy with tentacles reaching into the farthest hidden crannies of the country. It asks darkly invasive questions that are unnecessary at best.

At worst — which is almost always the case with the Federales — the questions are aimed at twisting fairness inside out. It is how bureaucrats in the federal government summarily pick winners and losers in some small town thousands of miles away.

So drunk on this power and addicted to all this intimate, private information of law-abiding citizens, the government could no longer get its fix just every ten years, as required by the Constitution to maintain congressional district of equal populations.

So, these sicko data voyeurs turned it into a never-ending annual habit — forever snooping, demanding, collecting and massaging data. And then forever slapping down hard-workers and taking their earnings to give away to those they deem to be the losers who cannot be winners without the "helping hand" of the federal government.

Like all Orwellian schemes, this diabolical obsession comes with a harmless-sounding name. The "American Community Survey" as if it is nothing more than the local Girl Scout troop stopping by to offer you little boxes of sweet, crunchy goodness — all for a good cause!

The feds want to know exactly who you are and the color of your skin.

"Race is key to implementing any number of federal laws and is a critical factor in the basic research behind numerous policies," the Census Bureau explains, without a hint of irony. "Race data are required by federal programs promoting equal employment opportunity and are needed to assess racial disparities."

Yes, Martin Luther King Jr. is scratching his head on that one.

And they want to know your "relationships" with all the people in your house. And they want to know of any "disabilities" and — ominously — what time you leave for and return from work every day.

These creepos even want to know how many bedrooms you have and all about your plumbing and even your "fertility." Related to the "virginity test" now popular in Egypt under the Muslim Brotherhood, the federal fertility probe is crucial, they tell us, as "a basic planning tool for agencies of the government." What?

Forget data addiction, these people should be forced to register as sex offenders.

And, of course, they want to know exactly how much you are making, including wages, tips and even that loan you got from your grandmother. Why?

"We ask these questions to get key statistics used to determine poverty levels, measure economic well-being, and gauge the need for economic assistance," the bureau explains.

In other words, they need the information to determine the winners and losers so that government bureaucrats thousands of miles away can pick new winners and losers.

After staging a rare, genuine filibuster on the Senate floor, Rand Paul last week introduced Senate Bill 530 to remove the criminal penalty for those who refuse to take part in this annual federal creep-fest that is not even required by the Constitution. You can add this legislation to the growing nationwide mantra of "Stand with Rand."

• Charles Hurt can be reached at charleshurt@live.com.