Who are these people voting for Obama and Granny Warren? Obama’s flack, Jay Carney, sounds more like Baghdad Bob every day. As for Warren, one of her new TV spots says she represents “people who play by the rules.”
That’s a joke, right?
Somebody’s voting for them, though. And they share certain behavioral traits. Consider this your guide to the modern Democrat electorate. Not all of these characteristics apply to each one, but every layabout and/or moonbat share at least a few of them.
They ride their bicycles through red lights.
They live in Massachusetts, but their $7 million yacht lives in Rhode Island.
They work, if they work at all, at nonprofits, foundations and/or colleges.
They have an EBT card ... and an iPhone.
They glare at anybody they see smoking — unless it’s pot they’re smoking.
Their Subarus have bumper stickers that say “Hate Is Not a Family Value” next to another one that says, “Send Bush’s Children to Iraq to Die!”
The husbands have longer gray hair than their wives.
They wear Birkenstocks — with socks.
When it comes to charity, they toss around quarters like they were manhole covers.
They always bring their Whole Foods shopping bags back to the store.
They wear T-shirts that say, “Ithaca is Gorge-ous.”
The women don’t wear makeup.
The only parades they march in have “Pride” in the title.
They oppose charter schools for the poor but send their own kids to private schools.
They believe you should be able to buy booze with your EBT cards, but not 32-ounce sodas.
They pay no taxes but want the so-called rich to pay their “fair share.”
They wear bow ties.
They applaud Judge Mark Wolf for ordering the state to pay for transgendered killer Michelle Kosilek’s sex-change operation.
They have no problem with gasoline prices doubling because we — meaning, you — need to be driving a lot less.
They believe in affirmative action — unless it adversely affects their own children.
They were the last people on their block to let their subscriptions to the Globe lapse.
They want the government out of their bedroom, but into your kitchen.
They have a “Coexist” bumper sticker on their Volt, but give the finger to any motorist who gets in their way.
They think any of their neighbors who can’t afford to vote for a Prop. 2 1⁄2 override should just sell their tacky little houses and move to some low-rent town that’s zoned for trailer parks where they can be with their own scratch-ticket-playing kind.
They would never say it out loud, but they really believe they’re better than people who were born and raised in Massachusetts, which is just one reason why Granny Warren is so superior to Scott Brown.
They’ll never, ever peel that old Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker off the Lexus.
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