By Colin Flaherty
When the black studies student saw a piece of string in a tree, she did what any self-respecting black studies student would do: shriek racism.
The string looked like rope. And rope means lynching. And that meant within a few minutes of this Tuesday night discovery on the campus of the University of Delaware, the entire university community from the acting president on down was in a full hate crime panic.
The campus cops started posting on Facebook and Twitter about “racist displays.”
Ditto the acting president, who condemned the “despicable” act.
Ditto the black students and their campus allies, who were convinced the string was some kind of reaction to a recent Black Lives Matter protest against Katie Pavlich, a Town Hall columnist who called BLM a terrorist hate group and who spoke on campus the night before.
By the time the sun came up, media throughout the state was buzzing with speculation about the white racists harassing black students on campus.
The acting president called for a rally to condemn the atrocity.
Then students started to wake up. And many knew the rope was not a rope, but a string. And the noose was not a noose. And the act was not a hate crime. Or even a fake hate crime.
It was just string that held up a paper lantern -- left over from an alumni party in June.
But none of that mattered. The anti-string, anti-hate crime rally went on, as scheduled.
The president did not apologize for perpetrating the hate crime hoax. Instead, she threw the university police under the bus for not figuring it out, then condemned the hate crime which had not happened, if it had happened, which it had not.
And she looked forward to the day when there actually is a hate crime on campus so she can have something to do besides get hysterical over string crime fairy tales.
Interns in the racial grievance industry came forward to admit the despicable symbols were just pieces of string, but even so, they were not happy to be on a campus where they were relentless victims of relentless white racism, all the time, everywhere, and that explained everything.
The day after the anti-string rally, the biggest paper in the state splashed the event across the front pages. All for the rope that was not a rope.
A few quotes from the News Journal.
One by one, students like Agyeman, along with top university officials of all races, took the stage to share harrowing experiences of how they were treated as minorities on and around campus. Agyeman fought through tears, recalling her first night on campus when she said a white man followed her back to her dorm, asking her how she could be "so f------ black.”
But many students, including those who turned out for Wednesday night's gathering planned by students and the
She told the UD community Wednesday night that a diversity action plan is currently circulating among senior leadership and awaiting approval before beginning implementation.
"We hear you. We see you," Henderson said, gesturing to the crowd. "We need to walk arm in arm with them and say 'I am concerned because you are concerned.' "
She paused before continuing.
"It cuts to my soul that we have this kind of pain on campus," she said, before noting that Tuesday's incident and Wednesday's outpouring have provided her with a new mantra.
"Not on our campus," she said. "We are bigger than hate.”
Yep: string will do that to you.
Two University of Delaware alumni, Vice-president Joe Biden and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, are still under suspicio for any role they may have had in what local reporters are now calling StringGate.
That last sentence is not actually true. But that really does not matter.
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