Showing posts with label Dark Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dark Humor. Show all posts

Friday, October 20, 2017



Malawi cracks down on 'vampire' lynch mobs

A woman appearing in public in Mulanje area, southern Malawi alleging she was attacked by a blood-sucking vampire.Image copyrightFRANK KANDU
Image captionSeveral people have come out in public and said they were attacked by vampires.
Police in the south-east African state of Malawi say they have arrested 140 members of lynch mobs who attacked people suspected of being vampires.
At least eight people are believed to have been killed, including two men on Thursday in the second city, Blantyre.
One was set on fire and the other stoned, according to police.
Two others were arrested for threatening to suck people's blood but police say they have no medical reports of any actual bloodsucking.
Vigilante killings started on 16 September when three people suspected of being blood suckers were killed by a mob.
Traditional leaders in southern Malawi believe the vampire rumours started across the border in Mozambique where rumours of blood sucking have led to violence this week. 
In Mozambique, protesters have targeted police because they believe they are protecting the supposed vampires, leading a northern town's administrator to flee the city.
The villagers in these areas believe human blood sucking is a ritual practised by some to become rich. They also believe they are failing to catch the blood suckers because they use magical powers.
If these communities believe in "mysterious magical explanations for things, then people will tend to attribute their difficulty on what they call blood suckers," Dr Chioza Bandawe, a clinical psychologist at the University of Malawi, said.
For some that represents "the life of the hope being sucked out of them," he said. 
But this has been "expressed on innocent people or on people who are different".
James Kaledzera, Malawi's national police spokesperson, told the BBC that police patrols had been stepped up in areas affected.
He also said they would "arrest anybody who is deemed to have taken part in the killings".
A curfew has been imposed in parts of the south, and earlier this month, the UN instructed staff to move to safer areas.
President Peter Mutharika, who has been visiting the areas concerned, has vowed to investigate the killings.
Many aid agencies and non-governmental organisations work in Malawi, one of the world's poorest countries.
Educational standards are low, with belief in witchcraft widespread. Vigilante violence linked to vampire rumours also erupted there in 2002.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Hillary: “The Guy is Hiding Something”: Top Hillary Advisor Suggests Bernie Colluded With Russia During the Primary. This from the original "birther"

“The Guy is Hiding Something”: Top Hillary Advisor Suggests Bernie Colluded With Russia During the Primary

The length to which Hillary Clinton and her team will go to shift blame onto others for President Trump’s victory last November is stunning. Adam Parkhomenko, a long time aide to Hillary Clinton, took to Twitter Friday evening to rant about how great his boss’s presidential campaign was in 2016, while taking shots at her primary opponent Bernie Sanders. 
In the middle of Parkomenko’s thread, the Clinton aide insinuates something quite explosive — Bernie Sanders may have colluded with Russia in the Democratic primary.
“PS…you seem to ignore the Russia support online for Bernie during the primaries. The guy is hiding something. Not sure I want to know what,” the aide tweeted.


Below is the tweet (and screenshot) where the insinuation was made.


Who is Adam Parkomenko? He’s one of the two campaign aides Hillary Clinton hired for her “Resistance” super PAC and worked as a state political director for Clinton as far back as 2008.
Buzzfeed reports:
Hillary Clinton has hired two political operatives from her 2016 presidential campaign to help manage Onward Together, the project she founded this spring with former governor Howard Dean to fund and support a coalition of Democratic groups led by activists and organizers.
The new additions, Emmy Ruiz and Adam Parkhomenko, held central roles on Clinton’s campaign: Ruiz delivered key victories as state director in Nevada during the primary and in Colorado during the general election; Parkhomenko worked in headquarters as her director of grassroots engagement before moving to the Democratic National Committee. Both served on Clinton’s first presidential bid in 2008.
Dean, the Onward Together co-founder, confirmed the recent hires on Friday. The two former campaign aides will be working on Onward Together as consultants.
Clinton’s new group, registered in May as a 501c4 organization with an affiliated super PAC, is working to establish a small but diverse cooperative of about 10 to 12 grassroots efforts, each one focused on a different area of the energy and activism set off by Donald Trump’s election and presidency. Dean said they are still in the process vetting groups to add to the coalition, which already includes organizations such as Swing Left, Emerge America, and Run For Something.
Failed Democratic presidential candidate and Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders recently fired back at Hillary Clinton’s comments regarding Sanders in her upcoming book detailing her election loss.
Sanders speculated whether anyone actually believed any of her ridiculous stories. While on “All In with Chris Hayes” on MSNBC, Sen. Sanders responded to an excerpt from Clinton’s book wherein her policy adviser Jake Sullivan called Sanders’ policy ideas reminiscent of a scene from “Something About Mary” wherein a hitchhiker comes up with a plan to make 7-minute abs to top 8-minute abs:
“I.e., Bernie Sanders just stole all of Hillary Clinton’s ideas. Does anybody really believe that? The truth is, and the real story is, that the ideas that we brought forth during that campaign, which was so crazy and so radical, have increasingly become mainstream.”
Sanders went on to cite his ludicrous proposal of a $15 minimum wage, $1 trillion infrastructure overhaul program, his bogus “tuition free college” (meaning – free at the expense of taxpayers) and “Medicare for all.”
The excerpt via the Hill reads:
“That’s what it was like in policy debates with Bernie. We would promise a bold infrastructure investment plan or an ambitious new apprenticeship program for young people, and then Bernie would announce basically the same thing, but bigger. On issue after issue, it was like he kept promising four-minute abs, or even no-minutes abs. Magic abs!”
Watch the video below:

Excerpts from Hillary’s  book have been released and she reportedly takes a few swipes at primary opponent Bernie Sanders.
CNN contributor Brianna Keilar responded to Hillary’s swipes:
It speaks to an issue that Hillary Clinton has had. I think we’ve all seen this where she struggles sometimes to take responsibility… But she came in with weaknesses that were completely self-created and for an opponent to ignore those things, to not really run the emails, and those things, to not really capitalize on them would have been political negligence.
And this was after Bernie endorsed Hillary and campaigned with her after she stole the primary from him!
Wow.
 
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Sunday, August 13, 2017

The NY Times still hyping Communism (it wasn't socialism, lady). Sure, we didn't have much and the secret police listened in while we had sex but hey, it was fun! The left will never accept reality.

Photo
A woman working at a collective farm near Moscow in 1955. CreditMark Redkin/FotoSoyuz, via Getty Images 
When Americans think of Communism in Eastern Europe, they imagine travel restrictions, bleak landscapes of gray concrete, miserable men and women languishing in long lines to shop in empty markets and security services snooping on the private lives of citizens. While much of this was true, our collective stereotype of Communist life does not tell the whole story.
Some might remember that Eastern bloc women enjoyed many rights and privileges unknown in liberal democracies at the time, including major state investments in their education and training, their full incorporation into the labor force, generous maternity leave allowances and guaranteed free child care. But there’s one advantage that has received little attention: Women under Communism enjoyed more sexual pleasure.
A comparative sociological study of East and West Germans conducted after reunification in 1990 found that Eastern women had twice as many orgasms as Western women. Researchers marveled at this disparity in reported sexual satisfaction, especially since East German women suffered from the notorious double burden of formal employment and housework. In contrast, postwar West German women had stayed home and enjoyed all the labor-saving devices produced by the roaring capitalist economy. But they had less sex, and less satisfying sex, than women who had to line up for toilet paper.
How to account for this facet of life behind the Iron Curtain?
Consider Ana Durcheva from Bulgaria, who was 65 when I first met her in 2011. Having lived her first 43 years under Communism, she often complained that the new free market hindered Bulgarians’ ability to develop healthy amorous relationships.
“Sure, some things were bad during that time, but my life was full of romance,” she said. “After my divorce, I had my job and my salary, and I didn’t need a man to support me. I could do as I pleased.”
Ms. Durcheva was a single mother for many years, but she insisted that her life before 1989 was more gratifying than the stressful existence of her daughter, who was born in the late 1970s.
“All she does is work and work,” Ms. Durcheva told me in 2013, “and when she comes home at night she is too tired to be with her husband. But it doesn’t matter, because he is tired, too. They sit together in front of the television like zombies. When I was her age, we had much more fun.”
Last year in Jena, a university town in the former East Germany, I spoke with a recently married 30-something named Daniela Gruber. Her own mother — born and raised under the Communist system — was putting pressure on Ms. Gruber to have a baby.
“She doesn’t understand how much harder it is now — it was so easy for women before the Wall fell,” she told me, referring to the dismantling of the Berlin Wall in 1989. “They had kindergartens and crèches, and they could take maternity leave and have their jobs held for them. I work contract to contract, and don’t have time to get pregnant.”
This generational divide between daughters and mothers who reached adulthood on either side of 1989 supports the idea that women had more fulfilling lives during the Communist era. And they owed this quality of life, in part, to the fact that these regimes saw women’s emancipation as central to advanced “scientific socialist” societies, as they saw themselves.
Although East European Communist states needed women’s labor to realize their programs for rapid industrialization after World War II, the ideological foundation for women’s equality with men was laid by August Bebel and Friedrich Engels in the 19th century. After the Bolshevik takeover, Vladimir Lenin and Aleksandra Kollontai enabled a sexual revolution in the early years of the Soviet Union, with Kollontai arguing that love should be freed from economic considerations.
The Soviets extended full suffrage to women in 1917, three years before the United States did. The Bolsheviks also liberalized divorce laws, guaranteed reproductive rights and attempted to socialize domestic labor by investing in public laundries and people’s canteens. Women were mobilized into the labor force and became financially untethered from men.
In Central Asia in the 1920s, Russian women crusaded for the liberation of Muslim women. This top-down campaign met a violent backlash from local patriarchs not keen to see their sisters, wives and daughters freed from the shackles of tradition.
In the 1930s, Joseph Stalin reversed much of the Soviet Union’s early progress in women’s rights — outlawing abortion and promoting the nuclear family. However, the acute male labor shortages that followed World War II spurred other Communist governments to push forward with various programs for women’s emancipation, including state-sponsored research on the mysteries of female sexuality. Most Eastern European women could not travel to the West or read a free press, but scientific socialism did come with some benefits.
“As early as 1952, Czechoslovak sexologists started doing research on the female orgasm, and in 1961 they held a conference solely devoted to the topic,” Katerina Liskova, a professor at Masaryk University in the Czech Republic, told me. “They focused on the importance of the equality between men and women as a core component of female pleasure. Some even argued that men need to share housework and child rearing, otherwise there would be no good sex.”
Agnieszka Koscianska, an associate professor of anthropology at the University of Warsaw, told me that pre-1989 Polish sexologists “didn’t limit sex to bodily experiences and stressed the importance of social and cultural contexts for sexual pleasure.” It was state socialism’s answer to work-life balance: “Even the best stimulation, they argued, will not help to achieve pleasure if a woman is stressed or overworked, worried about her future and financial stability.”
In all the Warsaw Pact countries, the imposition of one-party rule precipitated a sweeping overhaul of laws regarding the family. Communists invested major resources in the education and training of women and in guaranteeing their employment. State-run women’s committees sought to re-educate boys to accept girls as full comrades, and they attempted to convince their compatriots that male chauvinism was a remnant of the pre-socialist past.
Although gender wage disparities and labor segregation persisted, and although the Communists never fully reformed domestic patriarchy, Communist women enjoyed a degree of self-sufficiency that few Western women could have imagined. Eastern bloc women did not need to marry, or have sex, for money. The socialist state met their basic needs and countries such as Bulgaria, Poland, Hungary, Czechoslovakia and East Germany committed extra resources to support single mothers, divorcées and widows. With the noted exceptions of Romania, Albania and Stalin’s Soviet Union, most Eastern European countries guaranteed access to sex education and abortion. This reduced the social costs of accidental pregnancy and lowered the opportunity costs of becoming a mother.
Some liberal feminists in the West grudgingly acknowledged those accomplishments but were critical of the achievements of state socialism because they did not emerge from independent women’s movements, but represented a type of emancipation from above. Many academic feminists today celebrate choice but also embrace a cultural relativism dictated by the imperatives of intersectionality. Any top-down political program that seeks to impose a universalist set of values like equal rights for women is seriously out of fashion.
The result, unfortunately, has been that many of the advances of women’s liberation in the former Warsaw Pact countries have been lost or reversed. Ms. Durcheva’s adult daughter and the younger Ms. Gruber now struggle to resolve the work-life problems that Communist governments had once solved for their mothers.
“The Republic gave me my freedom,” Ms. Durcheva once told me, referring to the People’s Republic of Bulgaria. “Democracy took some of that freedom away.”
As for Ms. Gruber, she has no illusions about the brutalities of East German Communism; she just wishes “things weren’t so much harder now.”
Because they championed sexual equality — at work, at home and in the bedroom — and were willing to enforce it, Communist women who occupied positions in the state apparatus could be called cultural imperialists. But the liberation they imposed radically transformed millions of lives across the globe, including those of many women who still walk among us as the mothers and grandmothers of adults in the now democratic member states of the European Union. Those comrades’ insistence on government intervention may seem heavy-handed to our postmodern sensibilities, but sometimes necessary social change — which soon comes to be seen as the natural order of things — needs an emancipation proclamation from above.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Dark humor



German man dies after blowing up condom machine



The remains of a condom dispenser after an explosion in Schoppingen, GermanyImage copyrightEPA
Image captionThe 29-year-old was hit in the head by a steel shard

A German man died on Christmas Day after blowing up a condom dispenser with a homemade bomb in a botched robbery, police say.
The 29-year-old and two accomplices attached the bomb to the vending machine in a quiet street before taking cover in their vehicle.
But the victim did not close the door in time and was struck in the head by a steel shard from the explosion.
His accomplices took him to hospital but he later died of his wounds.
The men told staff at the hospital in the western town of Schoppingen that their unconscious friend had fallen down the stairs.
But one of them later admitted to police that they had blown up the machine.
Police confirmed that none of the money or condoms from the machine had been taken.
The two surviving men were arrested before later being released from custody.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Holy Mao...

Cult leader raped followers, imprisoned daughter for 30 years

LONDON — A cult leader who led a secretive Maoist commune in London was found guilty Friday of raping and sexually assaulting his female followers and imprisoning his own daughter for 30 years.
Prosecutors said 75-year-old Aravindan Balakrishnan, known as “Comrade Bala,” led a tiny radical communist group in London called the Workers’ Institute of Marxism-Leninism-Mao Zedong Thought in the 1970s.
They say that for years, he sexually abused and brainwashed his followers into believing he had godlike powers, and ensured they were too scared to leave him.
The three women Balakrishnan was convicted of abusing included his 32-year-old daughter, who was born into the commune. She never attended school and in 30 years she was almost never allowed to leave the house alone. None of the women can be named because of reporting restrictions to protect their identities.
“I was bullied, tormented, humiliated, isolated and degraded,” Balakrishnan’s daughter wrote in a victim impact statement. “I never even knew who my mother was until after she died … I was a non-person, no one knew I existed.”
A jury found Balakrishnan guilty of four counts of rape and six counts of indecent assault. He was also convicted of causing bodily harm, cruelty to a child and false imprisonment.
The case came to light in 2013, when police released three women — then aged 30, 57 and 69 — from a south London house, saying they had been cut off from the outside world for decades.
Balakrishnan faces a maximum sentence of life in prison.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Obama

Travel, the TSA and Teutonic Terminology

When it comes to understatements, "the Germans have made some mistakes" is in a class by itself. But one thing they're great at is words. They've got the best words, particularly for feelings of angst or woe. Most everyone knows schadenfreude, the feeling of joy one has at another's misfortune. A more useful term in the melancholy group would be weltschmerz: the sadness one feels when contemplating how far the real world is from an ideal world.

Other German words are rich in specificity but impoverished in pith. For example, there's Verbesserungsvorschlagsversammlung, which is a meeting held to hear suggestions for improvement, or Schwarzwälderkirschtortenlieferantenhut, which, according to my less-than-scholarly Internet spelunking, is the hat worn by a black forest cake delivery person.

Anyway, the reason I've gotten us both into this Teutonic-etymological mess is that I was searching around for one of my favorite German words: Fingerspitzengefühl. It seemed like the perfect password for entry into the impenetrable debate over the Transportation Security Administration and its new policy of getting into the anatomical nitty-gritty at airports.

I was out of the country, with very limited access to news, when this controversy erupted, and I had a hard time getting a feel for it. Hence my search for Fingerspitzengefühl, which I'm overdue in defining. Fingerspitzengefühl, according to Wikipedia, is a military leader's ability to grasp "an ever-changing operational and tactical situation by maintaining a mental map of the battlefield." But Wikipedia adds that it doesn't have to be a martial term. Fingerspitzengefühl "literally means 'finger tip feeling,' and is synonymous with the English expression of 'keeping one's finger on the pulse.'"

Both connotations seem apt.

The war on terror, as we all know, is an unconventional thing, at least on the home front. Instead of missiles or marauding armies, our enemies attack with exploding shoes or other weapons hidden where the sun does not shine. As a result, security officials need -- or at least think they need -- new kinds of information, and lots of it.

In short, Uncle Sam craves a Fingerspitzengefühl of the battlefield in your shoes, shirts and, yes, pants. If you don't agree to a body scan, then TSA officials will have to get theirFingerspitzengefühl with their actual fingers.

One traveler presented with this new reality protested, "Don't touch my junk," and a media sensation ensued.

Personally, I think the controversy is overdone. I don't love the policy, but the outrage seems a bit misplaced. I'd bet that the vast majority of TSA employees do not want to touch your junk -- or mine. And if any TSA agent gives the slightest indication that junk-touching is his or her favorite part of the job, he or she should lose their job immediately.

Obviously, the first people to blame for this mess are the murderers. Without them, flying wouldn't be the soul-killing experience it is.

But we're partially to blame, too. Politicians are torn between two legitimate impulses: to protect us from very real dangers as best they can, and to be liked by us. Unfortunately, these impulses often conflict. If we weren't in danger, we wouldn't need airport screening, electronic or otherwise. The black forest cake deliveryman on his way to grandma's for Oktoberfest inOrlando would have neither his cake nor his Schwarzwälderkirschtortenlieferantenhut searched, never mind the inseam of his lederhosen.

But the murderers won't comply, so we need to search people. The electronic scanners were intended to make such searchers as tolerable as possible.

Of course, there are better ways to screen people, but privacy activists on the left and right claim it's better to inconvenience everyone than single out anyone. For them, profiling passengers is Germanic not in the goofy etymological sense but in the 1930s Gestapo sense.

That's why I have some sympathy for the Obama administration. The president was just shellacked at the polls because many Americans feel the government is too big, too intrusive and too incompetent. The rubber-gloved hand of Leviathan groping our junk is a pretty apt symbol of that mood. The problem for the White House is they not only lack Fingerspitzengefühl, they actually have a thumbless grasp of the national mood.

But Obama is not to blame. Osama bin Laden is. No doubt he is overcome with schadenfreude when he reads that American travelers are overcome with weltschmerz. My only hope is that enough Americans will realize there's got to be a better way, and the next Congress will serve as a Verbesserungsvorschlagsversammlung to figure out how to keep us safe while denying government agents a Fingerspitzengefühl of our junk.