The B+ Triangulation

While talking with Oprah on the All Barack Channel (ABC), Obama rated his performance in his first 11 months in office as a B+. Besides being laughable given his cratering approval ratings, I just have to wonder how much time was spent figuring out the optimal rating to give himself. The conversation probably went something like this:

Rahm Emanuel: Mr. President, one of the questions that Oprah is going to ask you for your non-Christmas special is what grade would you give yourself for your first 11 months in office.

Barack Obama: Isn't it clear? I think I deserve an A. We've already accomplished more in 1 year in office than that stupid cowboy accomplished in 8. We're negotiating over the Iranian nuclear problem, I've shown the Arab world I'm with them, cash for clunkers was a raging success, the house has passed healthcare reform AND cap and trade, carbon dioxide is now considered a dangerous substance by the EPA. I even won a peace prize. Probably the only real failure I had was I couldn't get Chicago the Olympics.

Rahm Emanuel: You're right. I would definitely give you an A. You've probably brought this nation closer to being a truly progressive country than any President for the last 70 years. But I think publicly stating "A" would come across as too pompous. SNL would have a field day over it.

Barack Obama: How did I lose the SNL crowd anyway? They all voted for me, heck they made my opponents pick for VP a laughingstock. You might want to talk to GE about that.

Rahm Emanuel: They are just idiot comedians sir. They'll make fun of anyone for a buck. And it's probably not important enough to muddy our relationship with GE just yet.

Barack Obama: Okay. So what do you think I should give myself? Is A- good enough? It's saying "hey, I realize I'm not perfect"

Rahm Emanuel: I don't think Americans are really smart enough to pick up on that subtelty. Let's just walk ourselves through the choices. You definitely can't give yourself a C...

Barack Obama: Hell no. If I wanted to expose myself as a C student I wouldn't have hidden my academic transcripts.

Rahm Emanuel: So that leaves us with B. B- is too close to C so that one is out. A B is probably too plain and not positive enough, so I think that leaves us with B+, which is pretty good and has a nice "+" at the end.

Barack Obama: Hmmm, B+, that's pretty good. It's almost an A-. I'll probably say I'll change my grade to A- if a few more things get passed.

Rahm Emanuel: Great idea Mr. President, that should help keep our momentum going. It is important to maintain the appearance of progress after all.