Harris-Walz Burlesque
I’m so old I remember when we learned about advertising fakery by ordering stuff like sea horses and x-ray vision glasses from the back of comic books. Younger generations caught on when they compared what they’d seen in the TV ads with the actual products. For voters this time around all they have to do is scan X online. The sea horse ads were better fakes than the Harris-Walz team is churning out. Of course, there is the candidates’ utter failure in public appearances -- such as they are -- to show Harris-Walz viewers that they are phony, unserious contenders for the highest offices in the land.
My favorite satire site, Babylon Bee, nailed it on the public appearance flops.
U.S. -- Despite polling momentum swinging towards former President Trump, political pundits believe that Kamala Harris can still win the election if she can just remain completely unseen and unheard until November 6th.
"If they can just lock her in the basement with Joe, she has a shot," said NBC analyst Chuck Todd. "Kamala's favorability depends on people losing all memory of her voice, face, actions, and anything related to her in any way."
With the race a statistical tie last week, Democrat strategists made the bold decision to have Kamala attempt talking to actual humans. "It was a big risk, having her open her mouth and speak," said DNC chair Jaime Harrison. "It took approximately 30 seconds to realize we had made a huge mistake. I did not know how much I could hate listening to someone saying words. I regret everything."
Though Kamala's polling has slipped since she began her media tour, pundits believe the damage can be limited if no one ever hears from the candidate ever again. "The less people know about who they're asking to run the country, the better," explained Harrison. "It's time to pull a Joe Biden 2020 special."
At publishing time, aides had reportedly set out a trail of wine boxes to lead Kamala into the basement.
Every time she must speak extemporaneously, she reveals herself as a chuckling know-nothing.
Even the audience for the most recent rare unscripted appearance -- the Univision “townhall” which is promoted as Harris’ interaction with “undecided Latino voters” -- was fake. Paid actors were hired to pad out the audience and Harris supporters were flown in from elsewhere to ask questions.
As I discovered, having been granted the sacred opportunity to view the event from an adjacent room on the University of Nevada, Las Vegas campus, the carefully curated “town hall” audience was actually comprised of avowed Harris supporters.
“I already knew I was going to go for Kamala,” one town hall participant told me. “Part of the reason why I wanted to go was just, like, to also fully support her.”
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